Last month, I wrote a short story titled ‘The Girl and her Beauty’. I’d like to explain further about the post and why it is so important to love oneself.
In my work I interact with teenagers on a daily basis, and the biggest issue that I see is this: Insecurity.
I also see two extremes in teenage insecurity: On one spectrum, people try and try to be ‘cool’ by starving themselves, smoking, wearing revealing clothing. And on the other spectrum, these people do not care at all, and has basically given up in trying to befriend and love others, including themselves. I don’t know which spectrum is sadder to see. From what I see, insecurities are sadly more prominent in young girls.
Now it is known that during the teenage years, insecurities and low self-esteem also comes from hormonal imbalance. Hence, it is normal to have minor insecurities. However, certain statistics can be worrying at times.
To me the worst part is this: Insecurities, if left unchecked, can be carried forward into adulthood. There is nothing more scary, or unhappy than an insecure adult.
So what is the cure for insecurity? Unlike common beliefs, it is not through external validation or praise from other people. It is not from material processions. It is not from getting a significant other.
I believe that the cure for insecurity is FALLING IN LOVE WITH YOURSELF.
Yes, it sounds cliché. Yes it has been repeated by many self-help books for a long time now. Hence, let me try to put my own meaning into it. What does ‘falling in love with yourself’ mean to me?
Well, it means attending to yourself. It means doing things which not only make you happy, but which also brings out the BEST of yourself that you can be. Loving yourself also means being brave enough to get out of your comfort zone at times because you KNOW that it is worth being uncomfortable now in order to achieve something great in the long-run. And of course, it means taking care of yourself, both emotionally and physically.
For instance, you don’t like how you look? Work out and eat clean to get that weight that you want. Working out actually makes you feel better and more confident because you are actually doing something to better your physical self. So does eating clean.
Don’t like how you feel? Find hobbies, do things which you love, practice self-affirmation and know that in whatever you do, you are on your way to be the best version of yourself. No one is judging you more than you judge yourself and even if they are, why should it matter?
I believe beauty comes when we are the best versions of ourselves, and this is what people mean when they say ‘inner beauty’.
And do you know what the best thing about inner beauty is? It cannot be replicated by other people. Anyone can be slim and get plastic surgery to be beautiful, but our own inner beauty is unique only to us, and that is rare indeed.
Think of inner beauty as a plant which can only be grown by us, each person’s plant has a different flower waiting to bloom. Is your flower blooming?
You are beautiful, now go love yourself. 🙂